LBC= Little British Car
*****
The police officer was closely watching the parking lot of a notorious
LBC bar hoping to catch an intoxicated driver. About fifteen minutes
before closing, a lone gentleman weaves his way out the bar, and wanders
through the various MGB's, MGA's, Midgets, Sprites, big Healeys, and
even
the assorted Tr***ph or two.
The LBC'er bends closely down to examine each license plate (almost
falling in the process, and occasionally actually falling), shake his
head, and stagger off to the next LBC. Finally, the LBC'er seems to
arrive at the correct one, hugs the bonnet, kisses the grill badge, and
pours himself into the driver's seat (after four or five attempts to
open
the door). The officer watches the LBC'er closely.
As the LBC'er vainly attempts to start his LBC -- it seems he cannot
locate the starter button, and even if he could, he seems to forgot to
switch the ignition on (which wouldn't do any good since it seems he
doesn't know which key it is....), the officer watches with even more
attention. Finally, the LBC'er starts the LBC just as the bar closes,
and with the most painstaking care and caution, eases his LBC out of the
parking lot.
Naturally, the officer's cruiser is behind him in an instant, lights
flashing, and the officer pulls the LBC over. As the officer walks to
the LBC and goes through the standard routine -- license, registration,
etc -- the bar closes. LBC's leave the parking lot and it is empty as
the officer administers the breathalyzer to the LBC'er and puts him
through the assorted coordination tests. The LBC'er passes each test
with flying colors.
"0.0 percent -- I don't believe it!" says the officer in puzzlement.
Replies the LBC'er: "You should. I'm the designated decoy."
*****
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