I thought everyone might like a laugh, British style.
British News Bits
___ From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: ___
'Would the Congregation please note that the
bowl at the back of the Church labeled "For The Sick",
is for monetary donations only.'
___ From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in
a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: ___
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from
the Commissioner's Office return it immediately.
It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
___ From The Times: ___
'A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a
set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on
an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman
commented, "This sort of thing is all too
common these days."
___ From The Gloucester Citizen: ___
'A sex line caller complained to Trading
Standards. After dialing an 0891 number from an
advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was
played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for
failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs
in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying,
"He got what he deserved."
___ From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed
"Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": ___
"... the money will not be going directly into
the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage
them to lead a better life. We will be training them
for new positions in hotels."
___ From The Derby Abbey Community News: ___
"We apologize for the error in the last
edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a
Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical
error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective
in the Police Farce."
Tom Shirley Sale Creek, TN
1982 Royale RP31M Formula Ford (BAD DOG Racing)
1978 Triumph Spitfire
http://www.Geocities.com/MotorCity/Speedway/1080
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