Listees,
Here are some rather "shocking" Lucas Electrics yuks....Just attach the
Grn./Wht. wire to the box where it comes out Wht./Blk. with the set connector
being Blu/Yel. Use your Rocker style map light to see more details...
Albert Escalante
1978 MGB;1977 Jaguar XJ6-Lump
Central Coast British Car Club (Ca.)
Return-Path: <jim@mgforce.com>
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Date: Sat, 3 Aug 2002 12:32:37 -0700
To: aeseeyou@aol.com
From: "Doctor Fiend" <dr_fiend@hotmail.com> (by way of Jim)
Subject: Lucas
X-Mailer: Unknown (No Version)
Hey Albert. Patrick here. Thought you might like these...
"Lucas Humor"
The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas denies having invented the darkness. But they still claim the "sudden,
unexpected darkness"
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off. The other three
switch settings - Smoke, Smolder
and Burn.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou...
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo - It sank!
It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's
Law. They withdrew their efforts
when they meet too much resistance.
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked
the owner "How can you
tell one switch from another at night,as they all look the same ?" "He
replied, it does not matter which
one you use, nothing happens !"
Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began
manufacturing vacuum cleaners.
It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
QA called and told the Engineering they had trouble with his design shorting
out so he made the wires
longer.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the
Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas
invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check
the position of the stars,
kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: " Oh
mighty Prince of Darkness
protect your unworthy servant.."
Lucas systems actually use AC current; it just has a random frequency that's
all.
Why do the English drink their beer WARM? Because their refrigerators are
made by Lucas
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