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=20
Date: Mon=2C 27 May 2013 20:18:15 -0700
From: ATTORNEY
Subject: Fw: in court
To:=20
----- Forwarded Message -----
From:
To: =20
Sent: Tuesday=2C May 21=2C 2013 10:43 PM
Subject: in court
=20
=20
I have seen these before.... I wish I had been that creative on the stand!=
=20
I'd be out of jail by now. I don't think there is any Felony Contempt!=20
Now=2C McG.. he is still perjuring himself n court and deposition on a wee=
kly=20
if not daily basis. I'd love to have transcripts of some of his trial=20
testilying. =20
=20
These have been around before but still worth a laugh.=20
=20
=20
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called=0A=
Disorder in the American Courts and are=20
things people actually said in court=2C... Word for word=2C taken down an=
d=20
published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while th=
e=20
exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said=2C 'Where am I=2C Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No=2C I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?=20
WITNESS: July 18th.=20
ATTORNEY: What year?=20
WITNESS: Every year.=20
_____________________________________=20
ATTORNEY: How old is your son=2C the one living with you?=0A=
=20
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five=2C I can't remember which.=20
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?=20
WITNESS: Forty-five years.=20
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis=2C does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor=2C isn't it true that when a person dies in his slee=
p=2C=20
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son=2C the 20-year-old=2C how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20=2C much like your IQ.
___________________________________________=20
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting=0A=
me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children =2C right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor=2C I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a =
=20
new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus=0A=
was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition=20
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No=2C this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor =2C how many of your autopsies have you performed on dea=
d=20
people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral=2C OK? What school did you go t=
o?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not=2C he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine =0A=
sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor=2C before you performed the autopsy=2C did you check for =
a=20
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So=2C then it is possible that the patient was alive when you =20
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure=2C Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see=2C but could the patient have still been alive=2C =20
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes=2C it is possible that he could have been alive and practici=
ng=20
law.
=0A=
=20
=
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<body class=3D'hmmessage'><div dir=3D'ltr'><br> =3B<BR><div><hr id=3D"s=
topSpelling">Date: Mon=2C 27 May 2013 20:18:15 -0700<br>From: ATTORNEY<br>S=
ubject: Fw: in court<br>To: =3B<div style=3D"color: rgb(0=2C 0=2C 0)=3B=
font-family: times new roman=2C new york=2C times=2C serif=3B font-size: 1=
2pt=3B background-color: rgb(255=2C 255=2C 255)=3B"><div><br></div> <div s=
tyle=3D"font-family: times new roman=2C new york=2C times=2C serif=3B font-=
size: 12pt=3B"> <div style=3D"font-family: times new roman=2C new york=2C t=
imes=2C serif=3B font-size: 12pt=3B"> <div dir=3D"ltr"> ----- Forwarded Mes=
sage -----<br> <font face=3D"Arial" size=3D"2"> <b><span style=3D"font-wei=
ght: bold=3B">From:</span></b><br> <b><span style=3D"font-weight: bold=3B">=
To:</span></b> <br> <b><span style=3D"font-weight: bold=3B">Sent:</span></=
b> Tuesday=2C May 21=2C 2013 10:43 PM<br> <b><span style=3D"font-weight: bo=
ld=3B">Subject:</span></b> in court<br> </font> </div> <div class=3D"ecxy_m=
sg_container"><br><div id=3D"ecxyiv5725282423"><style><!--=0A=
.ExternalClass #ecxyiv5725282423 body {=0A=
font-size:10pt=3B=0A=
font-family:arial=2C sans-serif=3B=0A=
background-color:#ffffff=3B=0A=
color:black=3B=0A=
}=0A=
=0A=
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}=0A=
--></style><div><blockquote style=3D"padding-left: 5px=3B border-left-color=
: rgb(0=2C 0=2C 255)=3B border-left-width: 2px=3B border-left-style: solid=
=3B"><br><br> =3B<br>I have seen these before.... I wish I had been tha=
t creative on the stand! <br> I'd be out of jail by now. I don't think th=
ere is any Felony Contempt! <br>Now=2C McG.. he is still perjuring himself=
n court and deposition on a weekly <br>if not daily basis. I'd love to h=
ave transcripts of some of his trial <br>testilying. =3B =3B<br><br=
> =3B =3B <br>These have been around before but still worth a laug=
h. =3B<br> =3B<br> =3B =3B =3B =3B <br>HOW DO COUR=
T RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????<br>These are from a book called=0A=
Disorder in the American Courts and are <br>things people actually said i=
n court=2C... Word for word=2C taken down and <br>published by court repor=
ters that had the torment of staying calm while the <br>exchanges were ta=
king place.<br><br>ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to=
you that morning?<br>WITNESS: He said=2C 'Where am I=2C Cathy?'<br>ATTOR=
NEY: And why did that upset you?<br>WITNESS: My name is Susan!<br>_______=
________________________<br>ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment =
of the impact?<br>WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.<br>_________________=
___________________________<br>ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?<br>WITNE=
SS: No=2C I just lie there.<br>___________________________________________=
_<br>ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? <br>WITNESS: July 18th. <br>AT=
TORNEY: What year? <br>WITNESS: Every year. <br>_________________________=
____________ <br>ATTORNEY: How old is your son=2C the one living with you?=
=0A=
<br>WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five=2C I can't remember which. <br>A=
TTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? <br>WITNESS: Forty-five years. <=
br>_________________________________<br>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis=
=2C does it affect your memory at all?<br>WITNESS: Yes.<br>ATTORNEY: And=
in what ways does it affect your memory?<br>WITNESS: I forget..<br>ATTORN=
EY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?<br>__=
_________________________________________<br>ATTORNEY: Now doctor=2C isn't=
it true that when a person dies in his sleep=2C <br>he doesn't know about=
it until the next morning?<br>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exa=
m?<br>____________________________________<br><br>ATTORNEY: The youngest s=
on=2C the 20-year-old=2C how old is he?<br>WITNESS: He's 20=2C much like =
your IQ.<br>___________________________________________ <br>ATTORNEY: Were=
you present when your picture was taken?<br>WITNESS: Are you shitting=0A=
me?<br>_________________________________________<br>ATTORNEY: So the date=
of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?<br>WITNESS: Yes.<br>ATTORNEY=
: And what were you doing at that time?<br>WITNESS: Getting laid<br>_____=
_______________________________________<br><br>ATTORNEY: She had three chi=
ldren =2C right?<br>WITNESS: Yes.<br>ATTORNEY: How many were boys?<br>WIT=
NESS: None.<br>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?<br>WITNESS: Your Honor=2C=
I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a <br> n=
ew attorney?<br>____________________________________________<br>ATTORNEY: =
How was your first marriage terminated?<br>WITNESS: By death..<br>ATTORNE=
Y: And by whose death was it terminated?<br>WITNESS: Take a guess.<br>___=
________________________________________<br><br>ATTORNEY: Can you describe=
the individual?<br>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard<br=
>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?<br>WITNESS: Unless the Circus=0A=
was in town I'm going with male.<br>_____________________________________=
<br>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a depositi=
on <br>notice which I sent to your attorney?<br>WITNESS: No=2C this is ho=
w I dress when I go to work.<br>______________________________________<br>=
ATTORNEY: Doctor =2C how many of your autopsies have you performed on dea=
d <br>people?<br>WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a =
fight.<br>_________________________________________<br>ATTORNEY: ALL your=
responses MUST be oral=2C OK? What school did you go to?<br>WITNESS: Ora=
l...<br>_________________________________________<br>ATTORNEY: Do you reca=
ll the time that you examined the body?<br>WITNESS: The autopsy started a=
round 8:30 PM<br>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?<br>WITNESS=
: If not=2C he was by the time I finished.<br>___________________________=
_________________<br>ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine =0A=
sample?<br>WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?<br><br>_____=
_________________________________<br>And last:<br><br>ATTORNEY: Doctor=2C=
before you performed the autopsy=2C did you check for a <br>pulse?<br>WIT=
NESS: No.<br>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?<br>WITNESS: No.=
<br>ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?<br>WITNESS: No..<br>ATTORNEY: =
So=2C then it is possible that the patient was alive when you <br>began t=
he autopsy?<br>WITNESS: No.<br>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure=2C Doctor=
?<br>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.<br>ATTOR=
NEY: I see=2C but could the patient have still been alive=2C <br>neverthe=
less?<br>WITNESS: Yes=2C it is possible that he could have been alive and =
practicing <br>law.<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br=
><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><b=
r><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>=0A=
<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><b=
r><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br></blockquote></div></div>=
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