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Daily Joke - God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire...

To: vtr@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: Daily Joke - God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire...
From: info@mainstrike.com
Date: Mon, 5 Jan 1998 22:26:58 -0500
Reply-to: info@mainstrike.com
Sender: owner-vtr@Autox.Team.Net
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*********************************************** 
God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire... 
*********************************************** 
 
God would like to thank you for your belief and 
patronage.  In order to better serve your needs, He 
asks that you take a few moments to answer the 
following questions. 
 
Please keep in mind that your responses will be 
kept completely confidential, and that you need not 
disclose your name or address unless you prefer a 
direct response to comments or suggestions. 
 
1. How did you find out about God? 
 
__ Newspaper 
__ Television 
__ Divine Inspiration 
__ Word of mouth 
__ Near Death Experience 
__ Bible 
__ Torah 
__ Other (specify): _____________ 
 
 
2. Are you currently using any other source of 
inspiration in addition to God?  Please check all 
that apply. 
 
__ Tarot 
__ Lottery 
__ Horoscope 
__ Television 
__ Fortune cookies 
__ Ann Landers 
__ Self-help books 
__ Sex 
__ Biorythms 
__ Alcohol or drugs 
__ Mantras 
__ Insurance policies 
__ Other: _____________________ 
__ None 
 
3. God employs a limited degree of Divine 
Intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt 
presence and blind faith.  Which would you prefer 
(circle one)? 
 
a. More Divine Intervention 
b. Less Divine Intervention 
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just 
right 
d. Don't know 
 
4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level 
of disasters and miracles.  Please rate on a scale 
of 1 - 5 his handling of the following 
(1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent): 
 
a. Disasters (flood, famine, earthquake, war) 
1   2   3   4   5 
 
b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous remission of 
disease, sports upsets) 
1   2   3   4   5 
 
5. Do you have any additional comments or 
suggestions for improving the quality of God's 
services?  (Attach an additional sheet if 
necessary): 
__________________________________________________ 
__________________________________________________ 
__________________________________________________ 
 
Thank you! 
 
 
----------- 
SUBMITTED BY:  Religious Zealot, Peg Harrington 
 
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