You really know how to brighten our day Morti! That is the secret nightmare
that haunts us all.
GJB
-----Original Message-----
From: Mordecai Dunst <mdunst@smtplink.coh.org>
To: vintage-race@Autox.Team.Net <vintage-race@Autox.Team.Net>
Date: Monday, December 15, 1997 5:33 PM
Subject: 'Twas The Night..........
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> Thought as USERS you would all enjoy this.
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> 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
> Not a peripheral was stirring, not even a mouse;
> The modem was hung by the keyboard with care
> In hopes that a download soon would be there.
> The pirates were nestled all snug in their beds
> While visions of unprotects danced in their heads.
> And Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap,
> Had just settled down for a long winter's nap
> When up on the hard drive there arose such a clatter,
> I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter!
>
> Away to the monitor I flew like a flash
> Sat down at the keyboard, gave the spacebar a mash.
> The sight on the screen, a'flicker with snow,
> Gave the luster of power surge to the menu below.
> When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
> but an autoexec.bat that seemed rather queer.
> With a little print driver so lively and quick
> I knew in a moment I had seen a new trick!
> More rapid than eagles my cursor it came;
> my voice box whistled, and shouted, and called me by name.
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> "Now format, now rename, now copy, and enter!
> On num lock, on caps lock, on scroll lock and printer!
> To the top of the page, to the top of the doc,
> now tab it and hold it and merge it and block."
> As utilities that build up the CPU speed
> Clash with just the programs I need
> So up to the screen top the cursor it flew
> With a RAM full of memory and an extension board too.
> And the, in a twinkling I heard on the speaker,
> The grinding of the hard drive growing much weaker.
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> As I tried to reboot and turn it around
> The attributes changed from blue into brown.
> I hit the control, the alt, the delete.
> The message it gave me, I cannot repeat.
> It asked me to ignore, retry or abort.
> It told me the parallel had become the comm port.
> Its lights how they twinkled; its pixels how merry.
> Its prompts were all scrambled, like a bowl full of cherries.
> It sounded just like it wanted to blow;
> the screen was suddenly white like the snow.
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> It scrolled the directory before my very eyes
> With programs I did not even recognize.
> It wouldn't see D, It wouldn't see E
> I couldn't get out of B into C.
> Norton's tried to read it;
> It finally found the FAT;
> But alas, the disk was faulty,
> and could not reformat.
> Away flew the DBase;
> Away flew the DOSes;
> Away flew the Wordperfect
> Right out with the Windows.
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> The spreadsheets were spreading;
> The footers were heading;
> What once had been memory
> Was close to forgetting.
> When the grinding was over
> And the smoke had all cleared,
> I looked at the unit
> And it was just as I'd feared.
> The 40 Meg wonder had crashed in the night.
> I'll never be able to block out that sight!
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> So tell everyone to avoid my plight.....
> Back up! Back up! Merry Christmas, and good night!
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