A little contribution to the Friday file.
They say that if you write, write about what you know. With that in mind, I
am convinced it is LBC men who make the best horror movies. Just imagine
meeting a human built like an LBC. Of course people aren't filled with motor
oil, it's blood. So here is our scene:
You see a fellow moving down the street toward you. You seem to remember him
from your youth so you wave. Running up to you with creaking bones and
chattering teeth, he gasps to a stop and stands there bleeding from every
orifice and racked with shivers only obviated from time to time by
thunderous farts and clouds of smoke. The sight of his dimmly bleary eyes
partially occluded by flickering eyelids is made even more disconcerting by
the fact that as you talk pools of blood form around his feet and instead of
giving you his full attention while talking, he spends half his time
nervously pumping a sphygmomanometer and muttering "Damn, pressure's low
again. It's almost like when my heart quit last year". You think to yourself
that this guy looked a hell of a lot better from a distance. Just when you
think it couldn't get worse he pulls a 1 litre bag of blood from out of his
boot and pours it down his throat. Checking his pressure gauge again he
beams brightly and says "Ahh, that's better!". You recoil in horror, but
pity stops you from running away. He then describes how with a little
surgery and some touch ups he'll be good as new. Calling on past friendship
he begs for money and proceeds to empty your wallet. Then, after giving his
nuts a last crank with a tire iron, he calls out "Cheerio" and heads out to
try and attract the ladies.
Ooops, time to go to the store and buy some more blood, er I mean oil, for
the TR.
Mark Hooper
/// triumphs@autox.team.net mailing list
/// or try http://www.team.net/cgi-bin/majorcool
/// Archives at http://www.team.net/archive
|