Francis Dupuis wrote:
Whoever agreed to that idiotic design should be forced to try to do up the
snaps on a cold
sunny winter day until they can get them all to stay on. Then they can try to
get the
front of the top locked in.
Now, Francis, my dear fellow - here we have a situation which crops up from
time to time
where a lot of people take things ultra-seriously and express surprise and
concern that
so-and-so doesn't work (at all) or properly.We're not talking Pacific Rim build
quality,
reliability, proven results from long-term testing or any of that old cobblers.
We're
talking about the British car, old chap.
The only way I can attempt to convey the reason(s) why is to list a number of
replies I
heard over the years as to why the cars were as they were.
In summary, you can call it short-sighted insular British arrogance. It may be
vaguely
amusing now, but not so long ago, many people in the UK manufacturing business
were
utterly and totally convinced their finished product was the paragon of
excellence in
every way. If you, as the customer held a divergent view, then you didn't
really know what
you were talking about - so let's humour you and with a bit of luck you'll go
away.
"There's nothing wrong with the suspension. It works perfectly well at MIRA."
"Yes, it's clear you've stripped the final drive pinion but this suggests
you've abused
it." (User response) "Well, you have to understand its not all that easy to
emulate being
shot at by the Germans here in Coventry, although we've had our share of being
bombed. I
tell you what, why don't you post a few look-outs further out into the desert
so that when
old Jerry pays a surprise visit you'll have a bit more forewarning and this'll
mean drive
take-up will be a bit more gentle. It's clear you've rather seriously
overloaded the axle
anyway."
"Yes, Madam - your Herald side rear window panels are crumpled. That's because
you've
collapsed the top incorrectly. Why don't you read the instruction book?"
"What do you mean, you have to put a towel between you and the seat, otherwise
you sweat
on a hot day? If you get that hot, might I suggest you only use the car when
the sun is
less fierce?"
"Mmm, yes, we've heard of that one before on the Herald and Vitesse
convertibles. Look, if
you insist on driving the car fully laden on a rough road, you will get body
twist. Fact
of life old chap. This means you have to battle a bit to line up the overcentre
locks on
the screen header rail. Well, if it's a bit of a struggle for you - take the
car to a
dealer and ask him to apply some 'gentle persuasion' to get the thing in place."
"Carpets in a Land Rover? What on earth for? On the Toyota, you can't clean out
the inside
with a jet of water because of the fitted carpets. On a Land Rover you can use
a hose -
because there aren't any carpets. Land Rovers don't need them!"
"Yes, well maybe the hood material is a mite stiff in cold weather. But why
would you want
to drive with the top down when it's cold?"
"Oh dear, the hydrolastic suspension's collapsed has it? Has it not occurred to
you that
when the road gets a bit bumpy you ought to slow down?"
"Yes, we've thoroughly tested the car in the United States. We sent one over
there for a
week or two and everyone loved it."
"There's no good reason really for calibrating oil pressure gauges in bar
rather than psi,
or thermometers in centigrade rather than fahrenheit. We've always done it that
way - so
why change? In any case, this metrication business is for those wops in Europe
and a few
other scattered places."
"Can't understand why the Eyeties (Italians) want to have a separate green
'lights on'
pilot lamp on the dash. You can see the instrument lights anyway - and what's
wrong with
getting out of the car to do a visual check?"
"Look at this way. The Americans spend billions of dollars on a space launch
that fails on
take-off, so what do you expect for six hundred quid?"
That really was the attitude, Francis. It's a British car, made for a British
climate -
and if you want to use it under different conditions and raise a whole host of
problems in
the process - that's your problem, not ours.
And much of the above goes to explain why the indigenous British motor industry
is either
just a memory or under foreign ownership. We've no-one to blame but ourselves.
Cheers
Jonmac
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