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Humor (no lbc content)

To: Triumphs@autox.team.net
Subject: Humor (no lbc content)
From: Gbouff1@aol.com
Date: Sun, 8 Aug 1999 09:35:22 EDT

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Return-path: KirsB1@aol.com
From: KirsB1@aol.com
Full-name: KirsB1
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 1999 23:24:18 EDT
Subject: (no subject)
To: DeRtist@aol.com, Gbouff1@aol.com

TOP TEN THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN:

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>>ON DATING, SEX and THE RELATIONSHIP

ON DATING:
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview
that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview
is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at
the end of it.
"Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the job. Why don't you strip
down and meet some of the people you'll be working with?"

What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all
the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About
13 seconds, I think...
"Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big ."
"That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later."

ON SEX:
Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men
are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're
doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like
fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for
it to occur.

Men and women all in all, behave just like our basic sexual elements. If you
watch single men on a weekend night they really act very much like sperm -
all disorganized, bumping into their friends, swimming in the wrong
direction. "I was first." "Let me through." "You're on my tail." "That's my
spot." They're like the Three Billion Stooges.

But the egg is very cool: "Well, who's it going to be? I can divide. I can
wait a month. I'm not swimming anywhere."

THE RELATIONSHIP:
Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason
when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like
an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving.

And the woman is like, "Look, gas, food, lodging , that's our exit, that's
everything we need to be happy...Get off here, now !"

But the man is focusing on sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 miles ,"
and he thinks, "I can make it." Sometimes he can, sometimes he can't.
Sometimes, the car ends up on the side of the road, hood up and smoke
pouring out of the engine. He's sitting on the curb all alone, "I guess I
didn't realize how many miles I was racking up."

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