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Humor: elevator etiquette (may appeal to lbc sense of humor)

To: Triumphs@autox.team.net
Subject: Humor: elevator etiquette (may appeal to lbc sense of humor)
From: Gbouff1@aol.com
Date: Thu, 5 Aug 1999 12:35:57 EDT

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Return-path: KirsB1@aol.com
From: KirsB1@aol.com
Full-name: KirsB1
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 1999 23:44:31 EDT
Subject: from kirs
To: Gbouff1@aol.com

 > > > > >     Hints for killing some time in the elevator.......
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    1) Hold your nose and stare at the other people.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a
> > > > > >    shock. Smile, and go back for more.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    3) Ask if you can push the button for other people,
> > > > > >    then push the wrong ones.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone
> > > > > >    and ask if they know what floor you're on.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for
> > > > > >    your friend. After a while, let the doors close and
> > > > > >    say,"Hi Greg.How's your day been?"
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to
> > > > > >    help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in
> > > > > >    the elevator.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever
> > > > > >    someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd
> > > > > >    like to play.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    10) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review
> > > > > >    emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    11) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    12) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them
> > > > > >    occasionally.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    13) When the doors close, announce to the others,
> > > > > >    "It's okay. Don't panic, they will open again."
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    14) Swat at flies that don't exist.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    15) Tell people that you can see their aura.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    16) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
> > > > > >    and muttering  "Shut up.......all of you, just shut up!"
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
> > > > > >    peering inside, ask,"Got enough air in there?"
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner,
> > > > > >    facing the wall, without getting off.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    20) Stare at another passenger for a while, then
> > > > > >    announce in horror,"You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk
> > > > > >    to the other passengers.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    22) Listen to the elevator walls with a
> > > > > >    stethoscope.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a
> > > > > >    button.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >    24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a
> > > > > >    while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
> > > > > >
> > > > > >   25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
> > > > > >                 and announce to the other passengers, "This is
> my
> > > > > >personal space."
> > > > > >

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