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Cat Humor (non-lbc)

To: "'TRIUMPH MAIL'" <triumphs@autox.team.net>
Subject: Cat Humor (non-lbc)
From: "Stinocher, Bryan D." <bdstinocher@sewsus.com>
Date: Mon, 2 Aug 1999 08:01:32 -0500 charset="iso-8859-1"
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the
carpeting in an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors. 

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
of the stairs. 

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. 

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little  cat I was ... Hmmmmm. Not working according to plan. 

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included
a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent
such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws. 

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However,I could hear the noise
and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. 

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something
akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. 

Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. 

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Bryan Stinocher
bdstinocher@sewsus.com
270-782-7397  xt 2284
1968 TR250 CD 5853 L

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism...



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