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To: triumphs <triumphs@autox.team.net>, SPITFIRES <spitfires@autox.team.net> charset=ISO-8859-1
Subject: more jokes
From: "Arthur H. Smith" <arthurhsmith@compuserve.com>
Date: Wed, 9 Jun 1999 17:37:12 -0400
>The last four US Presidents are  caught in a tornado, and off they
>spin  to OZ.  After many threatening  trials and tribulations, they
>finally make it to the  Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.
>
>"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD?  WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
>
>Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran,
>so I've come for some courage."
>
>"No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"
>
>Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well..,Well.., Well.., I need a brain."
>
>"Done" says the Wizard.  "Who comes next before the Great Wizard?"
>
>Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm  told by the American people that I need
>a heart."
>
>"I've heard it's true" says the  Wizard. "Consider it done."
>
>Then there is a great silence.  Bill Clinton is just standing there,
>looking around, but doesn't say a word.
>
>Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,  "WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THE EMERALD
>CITY?"
>
>"Is Dorothy around?"
>




A woman always wanted an expensive car -- a status
symbol to drive around and be seen in. She scrimps
and saves, goes to the BMW dealer, and plops down
several years income for a brand new state-of-the-art,
computer enhanced, kick-ass, dream mobile.

She's driving off. Decides she wants some music and
searches for the radio. The dashboard looks like a
control panel at NASA. She fiddles with this button,
that gizmo... jiggles these and those, but finally
gives up.

Can't find the damned thing.

Furious, she races back to the dealership and screams
at the salesman. Tells him they forgot to install the radio.
He assures her it's right there in front of her. It's hooked
into the onboard computer. All she has to do is tell it
what she wants.

He demonstrates: "Classical," he says.   "click"

The car fills with the sounds of Paganini.

"Blues," she says, and "click" a B.B. King classic plays.

She drives off amazed. "Country," she says, and "click"
a Garth Brooks tune comes on. "Folk" and "click" Joan
Baez sings about the night they drove ol' Dixie down.
"New Age" and "click" Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on.

She's so captivated by this new toy that she isn't  paying
much attention to the road.

Another driver runs a light and cuts her off.

"ASSHOLE!!!" she screams.     "click"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the
United States."

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