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Totally non-LBC, job application

To: Triumph List <triumphs@autox.team.net>
Subject: Totally non-LBC, job application
From: Alan Myers <reagntsj@ricochet.net>
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 1999 09:36:41 -0800
Organization: Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate
Okay, I don't usually forward this kind of thing to the list, but I
hadn't seen it before and it is pretty funny... and certainly the hiring
company is international in scope! I don't know if it is true or not.

Alan Myers
San Jose, Calif.
'62 TR4 CT17602L


> > This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's
> > fast-food establishment ........ and they hired him!
> > 
> > *******************************************************************
> > 
> > NAME:  Greg Bulmash
> > 
> > DESIRED POSITION:  Reclining.  Ha ha.  But seriously, whatever's
> > available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here
> > in the first place.
> > 
> > DESIRED SALARY:  $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
> > style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
> > haggle.
> > 
> > EDUCATION:  Yes.
> > 
> > LAST POSITION HELD:  Target for middle management hostility.
> > 
> > SALARY:  Less than I'm worth.
> > 
> > MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:  My incredible collection of stolen pens and
> > post-it notes.
> > 
> > REASON FOR LEAVING:  It sucked.
> > 
> > HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:  Any.
> > 
> > PREFERRED HOURS:  1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
> > 
> > DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:  Yes, but they're better suited to a more
> > intimate environment.
> > 
> > MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:  If I had one, would I be here?
> > 
> > DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
> > UP TO 50 LBS?:  Of what?
> > 
> > DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:  I think the more appropriate question here would be
> > "Do you have a car that runs?"
> > 
> > HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
> > winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
> > 
> > DO YOU SMOKE?:  Only when set on fire.
> > 
> > WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:  Living in the Bahamas
> > with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing
> > since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
> > 
> > DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
> > KNOWLEDGE?:  No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
> > 
> > SIGN HERE:  Scorpio with Libra rising.
> > 
> > 

-- 
MZ

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