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beer & brain cells

To: "Adrian W. Bode" <AWBODE@aol.com>, TR List <triumphs@Autox.Team.Net>, JIm Scott <jimscott@janics.com>
Subject: beer & brain cells
From: Dave Massey <105671.471@compuserve.com>
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1998 12:15:31 -0400
Cc: Brian Borgstede <borgstede@umsl.edu>, Tom Emerson <LVCIWEST@aol.com>, Dan Fischer <EASIJDF@aol.com>, Mark Joslyn <mbjoslyn@prairienet.org>

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DATE:   13/10/98 20:48

RE:     beer & brain cells

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Subject: beer & brain cells
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A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and 
     when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the 
     back that are killed first.  
     
     This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the 
     general speed and health of the whole  is maintained or even improved 
     by the regular culling of the weakest members.   In much the same way, 
     the human brain can operate only as fast as  the slowest brain cells 
     through which the electrical signals pass.  
     
     Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake 
     of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest 
     brain cells first.  Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate 
     the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more  
     efficient machine.  
     
     The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal 
     link between all-weekend parties and job related performance.  It  
     also explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and 
     getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the 
     performance of the new graduates.  Only those few that stick to the 
     strict regimen  of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the 
     intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years.  
     
     So, this is a call to arms.  As our country is losing its 
     technological edge we should not shudder in our homes.  Get back into 
     the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at 
     your  peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could 
     have.  



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