>Actual Bumper Stickers -
>
>
> * Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
>
> * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
>
> * Horn broken, watch for finger.
>
> * All men are idiots ... I married their king.
>
> * The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
>
> * My kid had sex with your honor student.
>
> * If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
>
> * Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
>
> * I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
>
> * Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
>
> * I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
>
> * Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
>
> * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
>
> * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>
> * Keep honking, I'm reloading.
>
> * Hang up and drive.
>
> * Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
>
> * I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
>
> * I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming
> and yelling like the passengers in his car.
>
> * Lord save me from your followers.
>
> * Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
>
> * I said "no" to drugs, but they just woudn't listen.
>
> * The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>
> * Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
>
> * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>
> * It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
>
> * When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like
> the IRS.
>
> * Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
>
> * If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
>
> * Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
>
> * Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>
> * He/She who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
> * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
>
> * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
>
> * Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
>
> * Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may
> be happy.
>
> * Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
>
> * Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
>
> * Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>
> * Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you
> can find a rock.
>
> * I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with
> subatomic particles.
>
>
> * Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
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