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Car humor -little LBC content

To: triumphs@autox.team.net
Subject: Car humor -little LBC content
From: "Theis, Karl J" <THESKJ@edex.litc.lockheed.com>
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 1996 13:20:31 -0700
Disposition-notification-to: <THESKJ@edex.litc.lockheed.com>
I was hesitant to forward this bit to the list.  There is something
in here to offend just about everybody.  But hey, we Triumph people
can take a joke, can't we?
Karl Theis
______________________________________________________________________
_________
>
>What your car says about you:
>
>
>Acura Integra  - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports
cars
>Acura Legend   - I'm too bland for German cars
>Acura NSX      - I am impotent
>Audi 90        - I enjoy putting out engine fires
>Buick Park Avenue   - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
>Cadillac Eldorado   - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
>Cadillac Seville    - I am a pimp
>Chevrolet Camaro    - I enjoy beating up people
>Chevrolet Chevette  - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell
them
>                       I have a 'Vette
>Chevrolet Corvette  - I'm in a mid-life crisis
>Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the
government
>Chrysler Cordoba    - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
>Datsun 280Z         - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
>Dodge Dart          - I teach third grade special education and I
voted
>                        for Eisenhower
>Dodge Daytona       - I delivered pizza for four years to get this
car
>Ford Fairmont       - (See Dodge Dart)
>Ford Mustang        - I slow down to 85 in school zones
>Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
>lanes
>                        when I pull up behind them
>Geo Storm      - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
>Geo Tracker    - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
>Honda del Sol  - I have always said, half a convertible is better
than
>                   no convertible at all
>Honda Civic    - I have just graduated and have no credit
>Honda Accord   - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
>Infiniti Q45   - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
>Isuzu Impulse  - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his
reports.
>Jaguar XJ6     - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in
the
>                   shop 280 days per year.
>Kia Sephia     - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
Corp.
>Lincoln Town Car   - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
>Mercury Grand Marquis  - (See Ford Crown Victoria)
>Mercedes 500SL   - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
>Mercedes 560SEL  - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named
Cole
>Mazda Miata   - I do not fear being decapitated by an
eighteen-wheeler
>MGB     - I am dating a mechanic
>Mitsubishi Diamante    - I don't know what it means either
>Nissan 300ZX      - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
>Oldsmobile Cutlass     - I just stole this car
>Peugeot 505 Diesel     - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
>Plymouth Neon     - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
>Pontiac Trans AM  - I have a switchblade in my sock
>Porsche 944    - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would
be
>                   inaccessible to me
>Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too
liberal
>
>Saturn          - (See Honda Civic)
>Subaru Legacy         - I have always wanted a Japanese car
>Toyota Camry          - I am still in the closet
>Volkswagen Beetle     - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
>Volkswagen Cabriolet  - I am out of the closet
>Volkswagen Microbus   - I am tripping right now
>Volvo 740 Wagon       - I am frightened of my wife



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        id QAA10608; Mon, 14 Oct 1996 16:08:46 -0600
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 1996 16:08:46 -0600
From: durban@dnasun12.dna.mci.com (Debra M. Urban)
Subject: FW: Cars -Forwarded
To: THESKJ@edex.litc.lockheed.com
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Content-MD5: YtK5q6DqaoI6IU6CrLA5SQ==

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