Could this be anyone we know????
funbeamChuck
>
>
>Oil Changing Instructions:
>
>Women:
>
>1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil
change.
>2. Drink a cup of coffee.
>3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
>
>
>Men:
>
>1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
>2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to
O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
>3. Open a beer and drink it.
>4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>7. Place drain pan under engine.
>8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
>10. Unscrew drain plug.
>11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
>12. Clean up.
>13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
>14. Look for oil filter wrench.
>15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
>16. Beer.
>17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
>18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
>19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
>20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
>21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
>22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
gasket first.
>23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
>25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains
onto floor.
>27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
>28. Bang head on floorboard in reaction.
>29. Begin cussing fit.
>30. Throw wrench.
>31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.
>32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
>33. Beer.
>34. Beer.
>35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
>36. Beer.
>37. Lower car from jack stands
>38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
>39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.
>40. Drive car
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