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FW: oil change

To: "'Tigers'" <Tigers@autox.team.net>
Subject: FW: oil change
From: "Colley, Chuck" <Chuck.Colley@wang.com>
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2000 07:49:46 -0500
Could this be anyone we know????

funbeamChuck
 

>
>
>Oil Changing Instructions:
>
>Women:
>
>1.  Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil
change.
>2.  Drink a cup of coffee.
>3.  15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
>
>
>Men:
>
>1.  Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil,
filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
>2.  Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to
O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
>3.  Open a beer and drink it.
>4.  Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>5.  Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>6.  In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>7.  Place drain pan under engine.
>8.  Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>9.  Give up and use crescent wrench.
>10. Unscrew drain plug.
>11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
>12. Clean up.
>13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
>14. Look for oil filter wrench.
>15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
>16.  Beer.
>17.  Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
>18.  Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
>19.  Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
>20.  Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
>21.  Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
>22.  Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to
gasket first.
>23.  Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>24.  Remember drain plug from step 11.
>25.  Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>26.  Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains
onto floor.
>27.  Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
>28.  Bang head on floorboard in reaction.
>29.  Begin cussing fit.
>30.  Throw wrench.
>31.  Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.
>32.  Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
>33.  Beer.
>34.  Beer.
>35.  Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
>36.  Beer.
>37.  Lower car from jack stands
>38.  Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
>39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.
>40.  Drive car



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