>>The Statements Car Owners are Really Making
>>
>>Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of
>> sports cars
>>Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
>>Acura NSX - I am impotent
>>Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
>>Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
>>Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
>>Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
>>Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
>>Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell
>> them I have a 'Vette
>>Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
>>Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the
>> government
>>Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
>>Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
>>Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I
>> voted for Eisenhower
>>Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get
>> this car
>>Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate
>>Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
>>Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
>>Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
>> lanes when I pull up behind them
>>Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
>>Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
>>Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is
>> better than no convertible at all
>>Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
>>Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a
>> lemming.
>>Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
>> pending.
>>Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his
>> reports.
>>Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is
>> in the shop 280 days per year.
>>Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
>> Corp.
>>Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle
>>Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
>>Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)
>>Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an
>> autograph
>>Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son
>> named Cole
>>Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an
>> eighteen-wheeler
>>MGB - I am dating a mechanic
>>Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
>>Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
>>Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
>> fortune off the parts
>>Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
>>Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
>>Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
>>Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie
>>Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise
>> would be inaccessible to me
>>Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too
>> liberal
>>Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
>>Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
>> inferior than Isuzu
>>Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
>>Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
>>Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
>>Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
>>Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
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