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FWD: Friday funnies

To: <av342@lafn.org>, <tigers@autox.team.net>, <ah918@lafn.org>
Subject: FWD: Friday funnies
From: Jay Laifman <JLAIFMAN@PNM.MHS.CompuServe.COM>
Date: 03 May 96 14:08:22 EDT
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Subject: Friday funnies
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This one passed on from Michael ...

Have a good weekend, everyone (you too, Lorraine).

-Fco.




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From: edmt@INTERNET {edmt@hooked.net}
To: fxm@lrd-1
Date: 14-Jan-96 22:16:59 +0000
Subject: fwd:Subject:       This is an orginal from my dad.

>To: fxm@lrd-1.landels.com


Francisco, 
thanks for all the jokes, thought I'd return the humor -distribute at will.
C ya', Michael 
------- Forwarded Message Follows -------
Date:          Wed, 01 May 96 16:37:43 
From:          "michael tritch" <mtritch@input.com>
To:            EDMT@hooked.net, leslie_robbins@input.com, srideau@input.com,
               chase.goff@input.com, regina_perkins@input.com, mark_drisko@i
nput.com,
               paul.kendrick@input.com
Subject:       This is an orginal from my dad.


     


______________________________ Forward Header ______________________________
____
Subject: This is an orginal from my dad.
Author:  Adam Janecka at INPUT
Date:    4/30/96 4:32 PM


Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
     
Why are there interstates in Hawaii? 
     
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? 
     
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? 
     
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 
     
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
     
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the 
doors?
     
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? 
     
If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on 
its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the bac
k 
of a cat and dropped it? 
     
If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, wh
at 
happens? 
     
You know how most packages say "Open here".  What should you do if the 
package says, "Open somewhere else"?
     
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
     
Why do we drive on parkways when we park on driveways?
     
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment but
 
when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
     
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes-why can
't 
they make the whole plane out of the same substance? 
     
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the 
radio down? 
     
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 
     
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
     
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
     
If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom 
fighters fight? 
     
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? 
     
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? 
     
   

--WAA13662.831016732/mom.hooked.net--




--Ugate.Main.65AF--
***** NOTES from Michele Powers (MPOWERS @ PNM) at 5/3/96 9:08a
***** NOTES from Jay Laifman (JLAIFMAN @ PNM) at 5/3/96 11:05a

Jay S. Laifman
Pircher, Nichols & Meeks
1999 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California 90067
(310) 201-8915


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