> South Brooklyn Tony ON MATH
>
> South Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
>
> "Why?" asks the father."
>
> The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'" replies TONY.
>
> "But that's right!" says his dad.
>
> "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
>
> "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
>
> "That's what I said!"
>
> South Brooklyn Tony ON ENGLISH
>
>
> South Brooklyn Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example
of
> a multi-syllable word?"
>
> TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
>
> Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, South Brooklyn Tony, that's a
mouthful."
>
> Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>
> South Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
>
> South Brooklyn Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
needed
> to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"
>
> The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this
> situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use the
> word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
>
> South Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,
but
> if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
>
>
> South Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
>
> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
> hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
> twice.
>
> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my
> mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>
> "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
>
> "My mommy planned a beautiful ban quet and it turned out beautifully."
>
> She said, "Excellent, Michael!"
>
> Then the teacher reluctantly called on South Brooklyn Tony.
>
> "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
>
> South Brooklyn Tony ON GETTING OLDER
>
> South Brooklyn Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
> "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
> acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
>
> South Brooklyn Tony replied, "You know, my grandfather lived to be 107
years
> old."
>
> The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
>
> South Brooklyn Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business...
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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