----- Original Message -----
From: wally31
To: Cherea Schellhase
Sent: Wednesday, October 15, 2003 8:10 AM
Subject: Fw: Fw: Fw: Life is Funny---]
Life is Funny
> > >
> > >1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
> > >own pants.
> > >
> > >2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
> > >
> > >3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
> > >"Implants?"
> > > She hit me.
> > >
> > >4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
> > >
> > >5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
> > >
> > >6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
> > >
> > >7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
> > >moaner.
> > >
> > >8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
> > >
> > >9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
> > >elected.
> > >
> > >10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
> > >
> > >11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
> > >you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
> > >
> > >12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
> > >
> > >13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
> > >days I've stayed alive.
> > >
> > >14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
> > >for
> > >
> > >Miss America?
> > >
> > >15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
> > >
> > >section in a swimming pool?
> > >
> > >16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
> > >
> > >17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
> > >
> > >18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
> > >
> > > "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been".
> > >
> > >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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