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Re: ..that ole black magic has me in it's spell.....

To: KansaR@diebold.com, spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: ..that ole black magic has me in it's spell.....
From: NeotoyRick@aol.com
Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2002 23:34:12 EDT
Its nothing compared you the tailspin you are in, but hopefully this will 
lighten things up a bit,

Rick
__________________________________________________________________

<< THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY.... check it out these actual 

cases. 


Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section 

of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased 

male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his 

back, flippers, and face mask. 


A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from 

massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive 

identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully 

clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. 

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off 

the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to 

control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters 

with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied 

onto the site of the forest fire. 


You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the 

Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 

300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. 

___________________________________________ 


Still think you're having a bad day? 


A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in 

the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped 

into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along 

as it burst through the glass patio doors. 


His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut 

and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for 

an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down 

the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to 

her husband. 


While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to 

right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the 

spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. 


After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the 

shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into 

the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his 

business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. 

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her 

husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his 

trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again 

phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. 


As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they 

asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. 

They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dropped and 

dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm. 

  ______________________________________________ 


Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse... 


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil 

spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most 

expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid 

cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, 

a killer whale ate them both. 

_____________________________________________ 


Still think you are having a bad day? 


A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking 

frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running 

from his waist towards the electric kettle. 


Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him 

with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. 

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman. 

_______________________________________________ 


STILL think you're having a bad day? 


Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending 

pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs 

broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two 

hopeless protesters were trampled to death. 

___________________________________________ 

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