> >OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON
> >
> > Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip
> > they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his
> > hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you
> > can go farther den dat if you vant to." So Ole drove
> > to Duluth.
> >
> > OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS
> > When the Norwegian accidentally lost 50
> > cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his
> > watch and billfold. He explained, "I'm not going
> > down dere yust for 50 cents."
> >
> > THAT'S HER!
> > A Norwegian appeared with five other men
> > in a rape case police line-up. As the victim
> > entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!"
> >
> > SWIM COMPETITION
> > A Norwegian woman competed with a French
> > woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke
> > division of an English Channel swim competition.
> > The French woman came in first, the English woman
> > second. The Norwegian woman reached shore
> > completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets
> > and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but
> > I tink dose other two girls used deir arms."
> >
> >
> > FAMOUS INVENTIONS
> > The Swedes invented the toilet seat.
> > Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole
> > in it.
> >
> > VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE
> > Two Norwegians from Minnesota went
> > fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish.
> > "The vay I figger it, dat fish cost us $400"
> > said the first Norwegian.
> > "Vell," said the other one, "At dat price it's a
> > good ting ve didn't catch any more.
> >
> > BAR RIDDLE
> > A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North
> > Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool
> > spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
> > "Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a
> > riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink.
> >
> > If you can't, then you buy ME one. Okay?"
> > "Ya, dat sounds purty good," said the
> > Norwegian. The Indian said, "My father and mother
> > had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my
> > sister. Who was it?" The Norwegian scratched his
> > head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?" "It was
> > ME," chortled the Indian.
> > So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
> >
> > Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went
> > into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, "Sven,"
> > he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I
> > buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME
> > vun. Fair enough?"
> >
> > "Fair enough," said Sven. Okay . . . my
> > fadder and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my
> > brudder. It vasn't my sister.
> > Who vas it?" "Search me," said Sven. "I
> > give up. Who vas it?" "It vas some Indian up in
> > Fargo, Nort Dakota."
> >
> > FINGERNAILS
> > One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she
> > had finally cured her nervous husband, Ole, of his habit
> > of biting his nails. "Good gracious," said Hilda, "How
> > did yew ever dew that?" "It vas really simple,"
> > was Lena's reply. "I yust hid his false teeth."
> >
> >
> > THE RELATIONS
> > Ole and Lena were getting on in years.
> > Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were
> > sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole
> > reached over and patted Lena on her knee.
> > "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex
> > relations?" he asked. "Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,"
> > replied Lena. "I don't tink ve even got a card from
> > dem last Christmas."
> >
> >
> > MUSIC SOLUTION
> > Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few
> > weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
> > "Oh," said Ole, "I persvaded her to svitch to a
> > clarinet." "How come?" asked Lars. "Vell," Ole
> > answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing
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