It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you
had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into
effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to
the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the man,
"Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you
died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an
affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching
for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just
as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The
nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in
some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me
off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could
get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of
was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and
tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The
excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died
almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad
day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome
to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy
came up. The Angel said, "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what
your day was like when you died."
"No problem said the second man. But you're not going to believe this. I was
on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had
been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my
stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell
over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the
balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of
his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I
fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I
didn't die right away. As I'm lying there face up on the ground, unable to
move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his REFRIGERATOR, of all
things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me,
killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the
Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man
enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says,
"Please tell me how you died."
The third man says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a
refrigerator...."
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