I guess this just had to be forwarded to this list...
Jim
>>
>>
>> >>
>> >>Something To Offend Damn-Near Everyone.
>> >>
>> >> What's the Cuban national anthem?
>> >> "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
>> >> ===================
>> >> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>> >> A different bar
>> >> ===================
>> >> What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
>> >>other?
>> >> A speech impediment.
>> >> ===================
>> >> What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
>half
>> >>mast?
>> >> They're hiring.
>> >> ===================
>> >> Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
>> >> Because they're not going to work in the future, either.
>> >> ====================
>> >> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>> >> He walks around saying, "Yo"
>> >> =======================
>> >> What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
>> >> A pimp.
>> >> ==================
>> >> Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car
>only
>> on
>> >>Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>> >> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>> >> ==================
>> >> What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>> >> A southern zoo has a description of the animal on
>> >> the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
>> >> ==================
>> >> How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
>> >> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>> >> ===================
>> >> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
>> >>fairytale?
>> >> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>> >> A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...
>> >> ===================
>> >> It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and
>> >>blamed it on the cost of living.
>> >> ===================
>> >> Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
>> >> ===================
>> >> The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
>> something
>> >>right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
>> >> ===================
>> >> It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to
>end,
>> >>someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
>> >> ===================
>> >>Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.
>> >> ===================
>> >>You can't have everything, where would you put it?
>> >> ===================
>> >> Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make
>> >> up 75% of the world's population.
>> >> ===================
>> >> If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
>> >> ===================
>> >> Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
>> >> ===================
>> >> The things that come to those that wait may be
>> >> the things left by those who got there first.
>> >> ===================
>> >> Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
>> >> Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all
>day.
>> >> ===================
>> >> Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
>> >> ================
>> >> Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
>> >> ===================
>> >> As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
>> >> ===================
>> >> When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel
>> >> bites your cheek, that's a moray!
>> >> ===================
>> >> A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
>> >> A tax is a fine for doing well.
>> >> ===================
>> >> It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
>> >> ===================
>> >> The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
>> >> ===================
>> >> Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
>> >> ===================
>> >> When you go into court you are putting yourself
>> >> in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart
>> >> enough to get out of jury duty.
>> >>
>> >> Work smarter, not harder, work is for people that don't fish.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >
>>
>
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