>Fruitcake Recipe
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 1 cup water
> 1 cup sugar
> 4 large eggs
> 2 cups dried fruit
> 1 teaspoon baking soda
> 1 teaspoon salt
> 1 cup brown sugar
> lemon juice
> 1 cup nuts
> 1 gallon whiskey
>
> Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
> Take a large bowl.
> Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
> Pour one level cup and drink.
> Repeat steps 1 and 3.
> Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
> Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
> Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
>
> Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
> Mix on the turner.
> If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
>drewscriver.
> Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
>
> Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
> Check the whiskey.
> Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
> Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
> Grease the oven.
>
> Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
> Don't forget to beat off the turner.
> Throw the bowl out the window.
> Check the whiskey again.
> Go to bed.
Happy Thanksgiving all...
Scott Paceley * spaceley@uiuc.edu * 217-333-8759 * Champaign, Illinois
graphic design, photography, photo-illustration
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