Robert,
OMG, THAT WAS FANTASTIC!!!
Did you write this? Mind if I forward it to a BUNCH of people??
Have a great trip, and Happy Holidays!
Brian
>
>The family and I shove off for the mountains of southern New Mexico this
>evening, or in the morning if I consume too much Christmas cheer this
>afternoon. The best to everyone and may peace and happiness surround you
>and
>your family this holiday season. If you are taveling, be safe.
>
>It wouldn't be me if I didn't include a questionable joke...so here we go
>with touches of racism, religion, and politics.
>
>Love to all and to all a good night...
>
>
>"'Twas the Night Before Ramadan"
>by Mullah Mohammed Omar
>
>'Twas the night before Ramadan, and all through the cave
>Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave.
>The turbans were hung by the fire pit with care,
>In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there.
>
>The soldiers were restless without any beds,
>While visions of air strikes flashed in their heads.
>Osama in his burkha and I in my goatskin cap,
>Had just settled down for a cold, barren winter's nap.
>
>When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter,
>I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see what was the matter.
>Away from the racket I ran like a girl,
>Tripped over a goat; into a ball I did curl.
>
>The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow
>And lit up the valley with an ominous glow,
>When, what to my one good eye should appear,
>But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear.
>
>And their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push,
>I knew in an instant it must be George Bush.
>More rapid than eagles his forces they came,
>And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names
>
>"Now Omar! Osama! Muhammad! Abdul!
>We come for you now; we've taken Kabul!
>To the top of the cliffs! To the back of their caves!
>When you chose this war, you dug your own graves!"
>
>As the dry leaves that before the assault choppers fly,
>When they meet with an obstacle, light up the sky.
>So up to the ledge his forces they flew
>With full magazines, and flamethrowers, too.
>
>And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud
>The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud.
>As I chambered my rifle, and was turning around,
>Osama was there, disguised in a gown.
>
>He was dressed all in drag, from his head to his toes,
>And he said he would flee while I held off his foes.
>A bundle of money he had stuffed in his pack,
>He said "I'm going to Baghdad and I'm not looking back!"
>
>His eyes were all glassy; he trembled with fear,
>The American bombs, they rang in his ears.
>He saddled his goat, then turned tail and fled,
>But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head.
>
>I watched with cold fear as his body did slump,
>The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump.
>And so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed,
>About to suffer a fate I could not avoid.
>
>I dropped to my knees; asked Allah for help,
>His voice boomed in my ears, "You ignorant whelp!
>I gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran,
>But you were too arrogant to understand.
>
>"I told you to honor your neighbors and wives,
>Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives!
>You invoke My name to sanction your deeds,
>But you are the last thing that this world needs.
>
>"And so, I'll send you and bin Laden to Hell."
>The last words I heard, as the bombs fell,
>Were from George Bush himself as he mounted the wall,
>"One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all!"
>
>
>Robert B. Houston
>
>"Deck the halls with Boston Charley,
>Walla walla wash, and kalamazoo,
>Nora's freezin' on the trolly,
>Swaller dollar, califlower, alleegaroo!
>- Pogo
>>
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