For those of you making the trek to Grants Pass the end of the month...
from one of those alread here.
Subject: When God Created Oregon
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for
six days.
Eventually, on the 7th day, Michael the Archangel found him
resting. He
inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look Michael,
look what I've made. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,
"What is it?
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to
call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?"
inquired
Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of
Earth:
"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity
and wealth
while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over
there will be
a hot spot. On this side I've placed a continent of white people and
on the
other is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to
different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one
will be
very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's
work, then
pointed to a particular spot that seemed to sparkle like a small jewel
and
asked, "What's that?" "Oregon, the most glorious place on Earth.
There are
beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and exquisite mountains. The people
from
Oregon are going to be satisfied, intelligent and humorous and
they're going
to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, but
modest,
hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as
diplomats and carriers of peace. They will be admired by all who
come across
them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then
proclaimed, "What
about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God nodded
wisely, "Wait
until you see the loudmouth, whiny-assed, arrogant piss-ants I'm
putting next
to them in California....."
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