spridgets
[Top] [All Lists]

Re: Car Needs Name - LAC, Absolutely NO LBC

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: Car Needs Name - LAC, Absolutely NO LBC
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2001 21:40:18 EST
Kate,
     All regard to political correctness aside, I recall reading an article 
proclaiming the Neon not only A "chick's car" but THE  consumate chick's car. 
 I don't remember if they intended  the car or the chick to be  the object of 
 the term consumate....  That said,, apologies are tendered  to anyone either 
offended, or sufficiently gender-secure to drive one...  All sorts of 
gender-polarizing "don't even go there's"  pop into my mind, so I'll check 
them at the door....  
         I always thought that names like  Henrietta, and  Gertrude and  
Hortense  were perfect for cars like Austin Sevens, and varitoned ZB 
Magnettes.. Tough old cars named after tough old dames (no offence intended, 
grandma...)
         Fifties Fords, and Mercs all chopped and channeled, frenched and 
decked,  sported monikers like Mimi, and  Lola, and Gina and Betty Lou, and 
Barbara Ann, in great flowing calligraphy on fender skirts, across 
dashboards, and  Continental kits.   James Dean wasn't really a chopped and 
channeled kind of guy, but the trend died with him. I recently spotted  a 55 
Plymouth Savoy 2 door, two tone green. A genuine mid-fifties custom with  
C-L-A-U-D-I-A written in three different shades of green flamed script across 
a pair of 5 foot long fender skirts....  This was two weeks ago at a 
mid-winter rodfest. I'd venture a guess that C-L-A-U-D-I-A is probably in her 
early sixties, still trying to live-down the advertising....
     The sixties brought us the hippie movement, and  microbuses  named after 
flowers, like  Iris, Petunia, and Saffron..... While there were a few blurry 
periods, once in a while I have a vivid flashback of waking up at the wheel 
of a dark green VW beetle named Kermit....
      The seventies gave us Cordobas with Corinthian leather, and John 
Travolta's Greased Lightning... it wasn;t until the century nearly ended that 
we had anything  new on the road worthy of a name...  For 71 and 72,  I 
campaigned a very competitive super stock drag car. Snow white  with a yellow 
top;  christened it "Quick Grits".  The name was a real fan pleaser from  
Florida to Virginia. Any farther north, and the locals simply scratched their 
heads....   
             Dodge Neon? Well, the name has at least one humorous implication 
best left to the imagination...(think  darkened motel rooms....) But, in 
deference to the fact that it is THE chick's car (even the 150 hp version...) 
and is making a road trip of somewhat epic proportion, how about something 
appropriate to being on the road (or again)
   - Kerouac   if you're going to San Francisco... 
   - Kerault   to start your journey on Sunday Morning....
   - Dorothy (Lamour of  "The Road to..." w/ Crosby & Hope") or  Dorothy of   
        Yellowbrick Rd..
   - Kermit's still a pretty cool name for a green car....
             still in a quandary?
How about  "OPEN" ? According to the National Neon Sign Council, it's the 
most popular neon sign followed by CLOSED, then  the  NO and VACANCY combo 
and in fourth place is DINER.... 

Mark Childers

<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>