My brother sent this to me from the (Kawasaki) Concours Owners Group. No
LBC, but I think we can still appreciate it.
>
> >From the R1 list, where a debate has been raging about oil types...
>
>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 14:52:05 -0600
>From: "Michael J
>Subject: Beware synthetic oil
>
>Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your beloved
>motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can
put
>it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping
>debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part
>of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain
>dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to
>retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not
>all...
>
>Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will
also
>splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of
a
>turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight
>window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive
>that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will
>completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and
>die.
>
>Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will
>give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on
>and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing
>your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near
>police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will
>lubricate four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your
valves
>to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the
>clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your
>riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
>
>While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
>handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen
>with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your
>studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by
>changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch
>and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in
>the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry
>wasp in your helmet for good measure.
>
>Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs.
>Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two
>sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it
to
>the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic
>oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign
>your name at the bottom!
>
>Mike
>
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