ok as requested...............you really didn't want me to try to retype
this did you? it would have lost it's charm converted into chuckeese! lol!
chuck.
----- Original Message -----
From david kunkel <dkunkelrph at hotmail.com>
To: William Neal Shipwash <wshipwash@aol.com>
Sent: Friday, January 28, 2000 8:23 PM
Subject: Fw: Southern Bashing
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Olsen, K.T. [JJCUS] <KOlsen1@CORUS.JNJ.com>
> To: 'Laurie Johnson' <ljohnson@decommunications.com>
> Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2000 9:34 AM
> Subject: FW: Southern Bashing
>
>
> >
> >
> > > ----------
> > > From: Vidris-Norton, Lorenza [JJCUS]
> > > Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2000 9:20 AM
> > > To: Gormley, Theresa [JJCUS]; Olsen, K.T. [JJCUS]; Monitto, Samuel
> > > [JJCUS]; Factor, Harlene [JJCUS]; Marmion, Bill [JJCUS]; Aikman,
Hartley
> > > [JJCUS]; 'rstowe@mack-cali.com'
> > > Subject: Southern Bashing
> > >
> > >
> > > Did you hear about the West Virginian who passed away and left his
> > > entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
> > > She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
> > >
> > > What's the most popular pick up line in West Virginia?
> > > Nice tooth!
> > >
> > > Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told
> > > Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
> > > "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
> > > Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
> > > The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
> > > There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag
> > > her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
> > >
> > > How do you know when your staying in an West Virginia hotel? When
> > > you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and
> > > the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
> > >
> > > How can you tell if a West Virginia man is married? There is dried
> > > chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
> > >
> > > Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West
> > > Virginia to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high
> > > schools!
> > >
> > > What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in West Virginia? A
> > > documentary.
> > >
> > > What do they call it in Kentucky? "Life Styles of the Rich and
> > > Famous."
> > >
> > > How many West Virginians does it take eat a 'possum? Two. One to
> > > eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
> > >
> > > Why did God invent armadillos? So that West Virginians can have
> > > 'possum on the halfshell.
> > >
> > > Where was the toothbrush invented? West Virginia. If it was invented
> > > anywhere else it have been called a teethbrush.
> > >
> > > West Virginia State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-70. He
> > > says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
> > >
> > > Did you hear about the $3,000,000 West Virginia State Lottery? The
> > > winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
> > >
> > > Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has
> > > the same DNA.
> > >
> > > Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned
> > > down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
> > >
> > > A new law recently passed in West Virginia: When a couple gets
> > > divorced, they're still brother and sister.
> > >
> > > Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street
> > > toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one
> > > says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
> > > "Jus' some chickens."
> > > "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
> > > "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
> > > "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
> > >
> > > An West Virginian came home and found his house on fire, rushed
> > > next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over
> here.
> > > My house is on fire!"
> > > "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
> > > "Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
> > >
> > > Why do folks in West Virginia go to the movie theater in groups of
> > > 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
> > >
> > > What do you get when you have 32 West Virginians in the same room?
> > > A full set of teeth.
> > >
> > >
> > > Subject: Medicinal drinks.............
> > >
> > > The bartender was washing glasses, and an elderly Irishman
> > > came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the
> > > barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of
> > > Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that
> > > Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told
> > > him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.
> > >
> > > The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and
> > > slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked
> > > for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked
> > > if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and
> > > the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, also.
> > >
> > > The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles
> > > on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey,
> > > is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the
> > > redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.
> > >
> > > As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and
> > > touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The
> > > Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up
> > > and danced a jig to the door.
> > >
> > > Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are
> > > healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his
> > > hands above his head and did a flip out the door.
> > >
> > > Jesus walked toward the redneck, and the redneck jumped back
> > > And exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------------------
> > > Lorenza
> > > Lorenza Vidris-Norton
> > > Johnson & Johnson
> > > 732-524-6589
> > > 100 Albany Street [KS281]
> > > New Brunswick, NJ 08903
> > > LVidris@ CORUS.JNJ.com
> > >
> >
>
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