Let the football season begin!
Balance
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example,
Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while
Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot
spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The
Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said
"What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Illinois, the most glorious place
on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite
shoreline along the Great Lakes. The people from Illinois are going to be
modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the
world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and
they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of
peace. I'm also going to give them a super-human, undefeatable football team
who
will be admired and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about
balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting
next to them in Wisconsin."
And NO, I did not change a word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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