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[humour] Completely, absolutely and totally off subject, zero LBC conten

To: spridgets@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: [humour] Completely, absolutely and totally off subject, zero LBC content, bandwidth wasting
From: Tim Osborne <timos@microsoft.com>
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1998 14:40:39 -0700
Reply-to: Tim Osborne <timos@microsoft.com>
Sender: owner-spridgets@Autox.Team.Net
Almost inspired me to write some Spridget Haiku --- almost.

tim
----------------------------------
        Sony  has announced its own computer operating system now available
on its hot new portable PC called theVaio.  Instead of producing the cryptic
error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS
operating systems, Sony's chairman  said, "We intend to capture the high
ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been-until now-an
operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony.   For example, we
have replaced the usual impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages
with our own Japanese haiku poetry."

           The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error
messages:

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        A file that big?
                        It might be very useful.
                        But now it is gone.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        The Web site you seek
                        cannot be located but
                        endless others exist


                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Chaos reigns within.
                        Reflect, repent, and reboot.
                        Order shall return.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        ABORTED effort:
                        Close all that you have.
                        You ask way too much.

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                        First snow, then silence.
                        This thousand dollar screen dies
                        so beautifully.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        With searching comes loss
                        and the presence of absence:
                        "My Novel" not found.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        The Tao that is seen
                        Is not the true Tao, until
                        You bring fresh toner.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Windows NT crashed.
                        I am the Blue Screen of Death.
                        No one hears your screams.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Stay the patient course
                        Of little worth is your ire
                        The network is down

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        A crash reduces
                        your expensive computer
                        to a simple stone.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Yesterday it worked
                        Today it is not working
                        Windows is like that

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - -

                        Three things are certain:
                        Death, taxes, and lost data.
                        Guess which has occurred.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        You step in the stream,
                        but the water has moved on.
                        This page is not here.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Out of memory.
                        We wish to hold the whole sky,
                        But we never will.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Having been erased,
                        The document you're seeking
                        Must now be retyped.

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Rather than a beep
                        Or a rude error message,
                        These words:  "File not found."

                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                        Serious error.
                        All shortcuts have disappeared.
                        Screen.  Mind.  Both are blank..



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