Did you know that Hillary Clinton just wrote a new book?
It's titled, "It Takes a Village to Satisfy My Husband"
*****
Did you hear? Gore is only one orgasm away from the presidency.
*****
Q: What were Clinton's fist words to Paula Jones at the deposition?
A: "So now you open your mouth!"
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Clinton: I'm only as old as the woman I feel.
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The reason First Lady wears the pant in the house is because the
President can't keep his on!
*****
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their
home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service
stationto fill up their car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the
station was once Hillary's high school love.
They exchanged hellos and then the White House couple went on their way.
As they were driving on to their final destination, Bill put his arm
around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you
would now be the wife of a service station owner."
She smirked and replied, "No! If I had stayed with him, HE would be the
President of the United States TODAY!"
*****
11. Excuse *Me*, Your Honor, but *she* was on top.
10. I didn't want people to confuse me with the Pope on TV.
9. She's not THAT young. In Arkansas, the age of consent is only 16.
8. Hey, At least she's prettier than Paula Jones or Gennifer Flowers.
7. I had to show the American People that I WASN'T impotent for my
second term in office
6. I was jealous of Nixon with his 'Tricky Dick" nickname.
5. I didn't leave a message on her voicemail. Get with it. This is the
90's, I sent her E-MAIL!
4. See I'm not a Lame duck. She said I was pretty GOOD!
3. My real name is not William Jefferson Clinton. It's William KENNEDY
Clinton.
2. I couldn't control myself. It was genetic. I was in her jeans --
oops, I mean it was in my genes.
AND for those of you who remember the famous "I DIDN'T INHALE" comes the
now soon to be famous #1 excuse:
1. "I didn't insert...."
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