If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it
in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish
and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once sleek as a
little T/R: now they look more like a Buick.
My cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging. Seat
belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Kreme opened a shop in my
neighborhood!
Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these day are under my eyes.
Not counting the saddlebags, of course. I have ssssssssoooo many miles on my
odometer. Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the
last time an appraiser factored the experiences against depreciation?
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up
close. Night vision....forget it!!
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and
bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with
varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it------------almost every time I sneeze, cough, or
sputter--------my radiator leaks!!
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