In a message dated 7/21/00 1:27:34 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
mcgrice@eisa.net.au writes:
> 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real
> driver never uses them.
>
> 2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance
> between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else
> will fill in that space putting you in an even more dangerous
> situation.
>
> 3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is
> considered "going with the flow."
>
> 4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller
> the chance you have of getting hit.
>
> 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs
> extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to
> lose.
>
> 6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to
> ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot
> massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without
> ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
>
> 7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as
> suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro
> area during rush hour.
>
> 8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a
> shortcut during rush-hour traffic.
>
> 9. Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an
> accident or even someone changing a tire.
>
> 10. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours,
> especially 4WD drivers.
>
> 11 It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't
> move the instant the light changes.
>
> 12. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your
> right of way.
>
> 13. Never take a green light at face value. Always look
> right and left before proceeding.
>
> 14. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there
> first, by whatever means necessary.
>
> 15. Real women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye
> makeup at 75 mph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
>
> 16. Real men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at 75
> mph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
>
> 17. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the
> previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's
> way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops,
> junkyards, and new vehicle sales.
>
> 18. There is a common held belief that highspeed tailgating
> in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked
> along in the slipstream of the car in front. This is true.
>
> 19. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semi-trailers, road
> trains and buses because they have brakes.
>
> 20. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a
> one way street.
>
> 21. It's O.K when driving in suburbs to air your grievances
> at bad drivers by giving the "one finger salute" while
> screaming out "ar#ehole". But it is imperative you are
> driving a turbo charged 5 litre V8 with a crow bar in your
> lap.
>
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