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Message-ID: <397457C1.F0A25893@mcmaster.ca>
Date: Tue, 18 Jul 2000 09:12:33 -0400
From: Paul Bray <brayp@mcmaster.ca>
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To: BIRDIE ROPER <birdie.roper@home.com>, BRADD <plast03@sentex.net>,
COREY BECKETT <corey.beckett@dadebehring.ca>,
MIKEY <mkeates@petro-canada.ca>, ROB <istchera@mcmaster.ca>,
TEMI <tls@sympatico.ca>
Subject: Murphy's
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You've heard of Murphy's Law Everything that can go wrong
will.......at the worst possible time and in the worst possible
way. There are other related Laws:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin
to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. --
Tussman's Law
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
--Lowery's Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be
solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law
Machines should work. People should think. --IBM's Pollyanna
Principle
The most ineffective workers shall be moved systematically to
the place where they can do the least damage. --The Dilbert
Principle
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the
parts. --Ehrlich's Law
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that
you are in a hurry. --Ralph's Observation
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a
flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. --
Cannon's Comment
The newer the carpet the greater the likelihood that the bread
will land jelly side down.-- Law of inevitable consequences.
Thinly sliced cabbage. --Cole's Law
Some Murphy's laws also:
Murphy's Technology Law #1:
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Murphy's Technology Law #2:
A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.
Murphy's Technology Law #3:
New systems generate new problems.
Murphy's Technology Law #4:
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Murphy's Technology Law #5:
We don't know one-millionth of one percent about anything.
Murphy's Technology Law #6:
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Murphy's Technology Law #7:
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working
20 years make.
Murphy's Technology Law #8:
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with
confidence.
Murphy's Technology Law #9:
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not
understand.
Murphy's Technology Law #10:
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker
that came along would destroy civilization.
Murphy's Technology Law #11:
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the
track.
Murphy's Technology Law #12:
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until
he/she knows
absolutely everything about nothing.
Murphy's Technology Law #13:
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the galaxy, and he'll
believe you. Tell him a bench
has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.
Murphy's Technology Law #14:
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
Murphy's Technology Law #15:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Murphy's Technology Law #16:
All's well that ends . . . period.
Murphy's Technology Law #17:
Murphy was an optimist.
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