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Subject: [Fwd: Murphy's]
From: John Cave <cavej@mcmaster.ca>
Date: Tue, 18 Jul 2000 10:17:55 -0400
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Subject: Murphy's
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 You've heard of Murphy's Law Everything that can go wrong
     will.......at the worst possible time and in the worst possible
     way. There are other related Laws:

     After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin
     to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

     Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law

     Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
     corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop

     Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. --
     Tussman's Law

     If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
     --Lowery's Law

     The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law

     There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be
     solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law

     Machines should work. People should think. --IBM's Pollyanna
     Principle

     The most ineffective workers shall be moved systematically to
     the place where they can do the least damage. --The Dilbert
     Principle

     The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the
     parts. --Ehrlich's Law

     It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that
     you are in a hurry. --Ralph's Observation

     If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a
     flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. --
     Cannon's Comment

     The newer the carpet the greater the likelihood that the bread
     will land jelly side down.-- Law of inevitable consequences.

     Thinly sliced cabbage. --Cole's Law


Some Murphy's laws also:

     Murphy's Technology Law #1:
     The first myth of management is that it exists.

     Murphy's Technology Law #2:
     A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

     Murphy's Technology Law #3:
     New systems generate new problems.

     Murphy's Technology Law #4:
     To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

     Murphy's Technology Law #5:
     We don't know one-millionth of one percent about anything.

     Murphy's Technology Law #6:
     Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

     Murphy's Technology Law #7:
     A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working
20 years make.

     Murphy's Technology Law #8:
     Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with
confidence.

     Murphy's Technology Law #9:
     Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not
understand.

     Murphy's Technology Law #10:
     If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker
     that came along would destroy civilization.

     Murphy's Technology Law #11:
     You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the
track.

     Murphy's Technology Law #12:
     An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until
he/she knows
     absolutely everything about nothing.

     Murphy's Technology Law #13:
     Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the galaxy, and he'll
believe you. Tell him a bench
     has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.

     Murphy's Technology Law #14:
     All great discoveries are made by mistake.

     Murphy's Technology Law #15:
     Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

     Murphy's Technology Law #16:
     All's well that ends . . . period.

     Murphy's Technology Law #17:
     Murphy was an optimist.



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