Thought you all might get a chuckle out of this.
Brian
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Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2002 09:02:08 -0600
From: Brentz Thompson <bthompson@wvsom.edu>
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To: RobLizTrosper@cs.com, Jbthompsonbft@aol.com, lkelley@wvsom.edu,
jmooney@wvsom.edu, warmuthb@wlsc.wvnet.edu, mbrandt@wvu.edu,
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Subject: New clubs for international politics
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This is a hoot! BT
"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y
Times, 1/30/02
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own
Clubs
Beijing (SatireWire.com) - Bitter after being snubbed for membership in
the
"Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed
the
"Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that
stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
Union
address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
having,
for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in
their
dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows
we're
the
best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although
they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
President
Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II
you
had
Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three.
And
a
secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed
to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs
Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil,
forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the
Axis
of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up,
Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of
Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That
Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About
America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of
Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said
Scottish
Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
fun
of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
rejected
the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay,"
accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials
from
Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately,
world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
Copyright ) 2002, SatireWire.
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