> In a Nairobi restaurant:
> CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
>
> On the grounds of a private school:
> NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
>
> On an Athi River highway:
> TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
>
> On a poster at Kencom:
> ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
>
> In a City restaurant:
> OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
>
> One of the Mathare buildings:
> MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
>
> A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
> DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
>
> In a Pumwani maternity ward:
> NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
>
> In a cemetery:
> PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
>
> Sign in Japanese public bath:
> FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
>
> Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
> TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
>
> Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
> GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMIKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
> BED.
>
> Hotel notice, Tokyo:
> IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO
> SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.
>
> On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
> OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
>
> In a Tokyo bar:
> SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
>
> In a Bankok temple:
> IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
>
> Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
> PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM
>
> Hotel brochure, Italy:
> THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM
> ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
>
> Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
> THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT
> YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
>
> Hotel elevator, Paris:
> PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
>
> Hotel, Yugoslavia:
> THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
> Hotel, Japan:
> YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
> In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
> YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
> COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
>
> Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
> NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF
> ASCENSION.
>
> Taken from a menu, Poland:
> SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE
> FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN UP IN THE
> COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.
>
> Supermarket, Hong Kong:
> FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
>
> Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
> DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
>
> From the "Soviet Weekly":
> THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC
> PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
>
> In an East African newspaper:
> A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE
> THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
>
> Hotel, Vienna:
> IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
>
> A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
> IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF
> DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
> UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
>
> Hotel, Zurich:
> BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN
> THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
>
> An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
> TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
>
>
> A laundry in Rome:
> LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD
> TIME.
>
> Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
> TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
>
> Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
> WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
>
> In the window on a Swedish furrier:
> FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.
>
> The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
> GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
>
>
> Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
> WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
>
> On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
> IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
>
> Cocktail lounge, Norway:
> LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
>
> At a Budapest zoo:
> PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO
> THE GUARD ON DUTY.
>
> Doctors office, Rome:
> SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
>
> Hotel, Acapulco:
> THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
>
> Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
> COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM,
> PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
>
> Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
> WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM
> MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE
> HIM WITH VIGOR.
>
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