Here's some fun!
> hoping you have enough humor (humour):
>
> You know you've owned a BC too long when...
>
> You always park downhill.
> The guy at the parts house is listed as a dependent on your income
tax
> form.
> You get in a car and are surprised when all of the instruments work.
> You tell your wife that you were out until 3AM because the car broke
> down ... and she believes you.
> The family is no longer upset in having to share the dinner table
with a
> bunch of SU parts.
> You don't trust anyone named Lucas.
> When your generator dies, you just pull another out of your Lucas
pile
> of bits.
> You wash your hands before working in the engine compartment.
> You'd rather give the family pit bull a bath than tune your SU
> carburetors again.
> You allow four hours for a trip, 3 for repairs and 1 for driving.
> You can unstick a jammed starter in the dark, in the rain, in 5
minutes
> and don't think it's a big deal.
> There's no oil on the garage floor so you know the car's completely
> empty.
> Your car makes a funny sound and you immediately know what's wrong,
how
> much it will cost, and what tools you will need to repair it.
>
> Lucas Aphorisms
>
> Lucas - Prince of Darkness
> Lucas - inventor of the first intermittant wiper.
> The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker, and Off.
> Or what about the other 3 settings: Smoke, Smoulder and Burn?
> The British drink warm beer because they have Lucas refrigerators.
> I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou...
> How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.
> Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random
frequency
> that's all.
> It is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to
repeal
> Ohm's law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much
> resistance.
> QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his design
> shorting out so he made the wires longer.
> Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the
new
> Volkswagens. So, now the cars from the Black
> Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness --
how
> appropriate!
> Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
> Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
> Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
> Recommended procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment:
Check
> the position of the stars, kill a chicken,
> and walk 3 time sunwise around your car chanting Oh, mighty Prince
> protect your unworthy servant...
>
> I found this almost 2 years ago in the www and coppied it. I didn't
know
> exactly where it was, but I hope not to harm the author by posting
it
> here
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