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How cold is it? (Some LBC)

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: How cold is it? (Some LBC)
From: Speedo79@aol.com
Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1999 02:39:42 EST
All meant as "tongue in cheek."  Maybe I'm just brooding because it is cold
and raining in "Beautiful Sunny Southern California!"  

>>  DEGREES (FAHRENHEIT)
>> 
>>    * 65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
>> 
>>     * 60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
>> 
>>     * 50 Miami residents turn on the heat
>> 
>>     * 45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
>> 
>>     * 40 You can see your breath
>>        * Californians shiver uncontrollably
>>        * Minnesotans go swimming
>> 
>>     * 35 Italian cars don't start
>> 
>>     * 32 Water freezes
>> 
>>     * 30 You plan your vacation to Australia
>> 
>>     * 25 Ohio water freezes
>>        * Californians weep pitiably
>>        * Minnesotans eat ice cream
>>        * Canadians go swimming
>> 
>>     * 20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
>>        * New York City water freezes
>>        * Miami residents plan vacation further South
>> 
>>     * 15 British cars don't start
>>        * Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
>> 
>>     * 10 You need jumper cables to get the car going
>> 
>>     * 5 American cars don't start
>> 
>>     * 0 Alaskans put on T-shirts
>> 
>>     * -10 German cars don't start
>>        * Eyes freeze shut when you blink
>> 
>>     * -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
>>        * Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
>>        * Miami residents cease to exist
>> 
>>     * -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
>>        * Politicians actually do something about the homeless
>>        * Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
>>        * Japanese cars don't start
>> 
>>     * -25 Too cold to think
>>        * You need jumper cables to get the driver going
>> 
>>     * -30 You plan a two week hot bath
>>        * Swedish cars don't start
>> 
>>     * -40 Californians disappear
>>        * Minnesotans button top button
>>        * Canadians put on sweaters
>>        * Your car helps you plan your trip South
>> 
>>     * -50 Congressional hot air freezes
>>        * Alaskans close the bathroom window
>> 
>>     * -80 Hell freezes over
>>        * Polar bears move South
>>        * Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game
>> 
>>     * -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets

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