The Royal Curmudgeon Order is available to those who insist on doing every
piece of a restoration themselves. They are usually found wandering
vaguely at the sides of the field at every British Meet due to their
insistence on spraying their own paint, in their own garages, without
benefit of mask or ventilation. This group would be considered eligible
for Knight status.
The Commander would demonstrate the memory loss and vapid expression of the
Knight but would be found in his garage attempting to polish the aluminum
castings on his SU carbs with an old rag and a tube of something. When not
doing this he may be found carefully draining old oil filters in order to
re-fill the dashpots on those same SUs.
The Knight Commander would, in addition to the above, be found carefully
cleaning, re-threading and wire-brushing all of the used fasteners from his
1947 Mowog Special while forcing his children to clean and re-sew the
original carpets. His wife would at the same time be found trying to clean
and re-sew the original top after having dyed it in a vat of melted shoe
polish.
The mind boggles at the degree of penury required to achieve more elevated rank.
Note that all of these folks spend all of their time at Field Meets
bragging about the massive amounts of money saved by "doing it right". In
addition they are quick to point out the lack of originality found in every
other pristine restoration because it "is no longer original like my car".
Following the put-downs they clatter off in the rusted remnants of their
"well-cared-for" "factory original" with the resewn top, opaque windows and
tattered sidecurtains - confident that there'll always be an England.
John
>John McEwen suggested:
>
>>
>>I propose that what we need is a not a club but an Order. The
>>International Order Of Old Farts.
>
>I've been following this thread for the last few days and
>have continued to laugh myself right off my chair.
>As one who hits the BIG 4-0 this year I'm slightly curious
>in the Old Fart thing. Of course, I'm assuming we're
>all talking about physical age and not mental; mental wouldn't
>work since most of us haven't left our late teens yet! :-)
>
>>
>>Business cards could state the status following the name such as:
>>
>>Sir Morris Mowog, KCOF (Knight Commander Old Fart) etc.
>>
>
>ROTFL!
>
>Will there also be a Royal Order of Curmudgeon?
>
>Carl Franklin
>carlf@dustdevil.com -- Home PC
>franklin@mg.cloudccc.cc.ks.us -- Office PC
><http://www.geocities.com/wallstreet/4199>
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