I don't know whether to be insulted several times over (for being
Scottish-American) or laugh my ass off! hahahooohhoooheeheehee.....
Guess I figured that one out pretty quick!
Thanks Paul!
Dan
PC's "not my bag, baby"! -- Austin Powers, 1967& 1997
-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Hunt <paul.hunt1@virgin.net>
To: mgs@autox.team.net <mgs@autox.team.net>
Date: Thursday, February 12, 1998 9:21 PM
Subject: Jingoism at its best
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
>
>1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
>2. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first
>time
>3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
>4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
>5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on
>Channel 4
>6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
>7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
>8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street
>humiliating your sense of national pride
>9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street
>10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
>
>1. You can have a woman president without electing her
>2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
>3. You can call Budweiser beer
>4. You can be a crook and still be president
>5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
>6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
>7. You can invent a new public holiday every year
>8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody
>seems to care.
>9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
>10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
>11. When you're not.
>12. At all.
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
>
>1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah
>2. Warm beer
>3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
>4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
>5. Union jack underpants
>6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
>7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
>8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
>9. Ditto changing underwear
>10. Beats being Welsh.
>11. Or Scottish
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
>
>1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
>2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
>3. No need to worry about tax returns
>4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
>5. Can wear sunglasses indoors
>6. Political stability
>7. Flexible working hours
>8. Live near the Pope
>9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
>10. Country run by Sicilian murderers
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
>
>1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes
>2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
>3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc
>4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
>5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
>6. Honesty
>7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
>clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
>8. You get to eat bulls' testicles
>9. Gibraltar
>10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
>
>1.
>2.
>3.
>4.
>5.
>6.
>7.
>8.
>9.
>10. In-built sense of pacifism
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
>
>1. Chicken Madras
>2. Lamb Passanda
>3. Onion Bhaji
>4. Bombay Potato
>5. Chicken Tikka Masala
>6. Rogan Josh
>7. Popadoms
>8. Chicken Dopiaza
>9. Meat Boona
>10. Kingfisher lager
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
>
>1. Guinness
>2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
>3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
>4. Pubs never close
>5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican
>Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex
>with a condom on.
>6. No one can ever remember the night before
>7. Kill people you don't agree with
>8. Stew
>9. More Guinness
>10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the
>morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
>
>1. It beats being an American.
>2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>the ground.
>3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
>4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>the ground.
>5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
>6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
>ratings will rise.
>7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>the ground.
>8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge fuckoff shotguns and cover your house
>in their skins
>9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
>10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>the ground
>
>
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
>
>1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised
>nation on earth wanted.
>2. Fosters Lager
>3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000
>years because you think it belongs to you.
>4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
>5. Tact and sensitivity.
>6. Bondi Beach.
>7. Other beaches.
>8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals
>9. Drinking cold lager on the beach
>10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the
>beach.
>
>
|