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Re: Restoration Humor

To: MG List <mgs@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Re: Restoration Humor
From: Jason <jason.sawyer@ibm.net>
Date: Sat, 17 Jan 1998 20:21:57 -0800
I got this from one of the monthly Volkswagen newsletters that I get. This
one was from "Wolfsburg west"

Forwarded by Jason:

> MURPHY'S LAW . . . AND VINTAGE CARS
>
>  1.Never fix anything that is not broken.
>  2.The nut or bolt which is the most difficult to reach
>    will always be stripped or seized.
>  3.No tool will ever be found again, once it is put down.
>  4.Nothing will ever go back together in the reverse
>    way it was dismantled.
>  5.One last pull on a nut or bolt, to make sure it is
>    tight, will always strip it, or snap it off, but if it
>    doesn't get that extra pull it will always loosen and
>    fall off.
>  6.Bright, clean and new parts are always defective, but
>    dirty, greasy old ones work fine unless they are cleaned
>    when they will not work either.
>  7.During a roadside repair, with the wrong parts being
>    used, the fit will be perfect and the repair permanent.
>  8.A prospective purchaser, attempting to start the car,
>    will usually cause ignition failure and/or flooding of
>    the carburetor.
>  9.If a part is carried as a spare, it can either never
>    be found or will not fit when it is needed, and if the
>    spare comes in different sizes of  lefts or rights, the
>    one you need is not the one you have.
> 10.If, when removing an irreplaceable nut or bolt, it
>    is dropped on a spotlessly clean floor, it will be heard
>    to hit the floor and then vanish forever.
> 11.Any tool dropped while working on your car will
>    automatically roll to the geographical center under the
>    car.
> 12.The probability of a car starting is inversely
>    proportional to the number of people standing nearby
>    watching.
> 13.The probability of paint running is directly
>    proportional to the degree of prominence of the panel
>    being painted.
> 14.A tire will only go flat when the jack or wheel brace
>    has been left at home.
> 15.Any starter motor/generator will work perfectly when
>    bench tested. It will only cease to function once it has
>    been fitted to the car.
> 16.When you double check everything prior to a run, you
>    stand a greater chance of running out of fuel.
> 17.No matter what fails on you car there is always
>    someone who knew it would.
> 18.Carrying an extra pair of plugs, points, coil and
>    condenser will usually result in a broken fan belt.
> 19.The later you leave home after a rally, the greater
>    the chance of failure of the lighting system.
> 20.The possibility of a mudguard being scratched is
>    directly proportional to the time spent polishing it.
> 21.The best way to locate a part in better condition
>    is to send the one you have to a professional restorer
>    for chrome plating.
> 22.No matter how rare the accessory, there is always
>    someone's uncle who had one just like it.
> 23.Start one small repair job and it will lead to many
>    more larger problems.
>
> ...hope you enjoyed...Aloha,   Gary
> Restoration Humor




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