Good one Carol.
Although I take dmbrage at the first one. In our current PC climate I
feel that the first shuld be genderless so substitute Carol for Larry and
I'll be happy.
Larry Macy (Resident Alpha Geek)
78 Midget
>I found this today whilst cleaning out the mailbox (that's still mostly
>empty after the crash!)... It made me chuckle. Hope you enjoy it, too.
>
>Carol
>
>===================================
>
>I know you've all heard the recently coined slang phrase "Going Postal".
>Here are some more examples, from the book "Jargon Watch", just published
>by Wired magazine . . . (By the way, for the out of touch: Going Postal -
>Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference
>to the unfortunate track record of postal employeeswho have snapped and
>gone on shooting rampages.)
>
>Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
>office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
>
>Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
>advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
>
>Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes
>off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy
>facial expressions, and interruption of speech in midsentence.
>
>Chips and Salsa - Chips hardware, salsa software. "Well, first we gotta
>figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
>
>Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just
>wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
>
>Dancing Baloney - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless
>and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a
>little dancing baloney will help."
>
>Depotphobia - Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how
>much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia.
>
>Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
>leave a company or a department soon.
>
>404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
>Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
>"Don't bother asking him. . . he's 404, man."
>
>Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no
>matter where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what
>city we were in."
>
>GOOD Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order
>to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent
>again.
>
>Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but
>you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
>prime example.
>
>Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
>keyboards.
>
>Midair Passenger Exchange - Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on
>collision.
>Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain."
>
>Nyetscape - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
>
>Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
>you've just made a BIG mistake. Seen in Elizabeth P. Crowe's book The
>Electronic Traveller. [Sender's note: I have always referred to that
>microsecond as an "awsh*t".]
>
>PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and
>Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've
>submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users
>who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on
>the above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.")
>
>Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
>electronic device to get it to work again.
>
>Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube
>farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the
>walls to see what's going on.
>
>Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, sh-ts over
>everything and then leaves.
>
>Square-headed Girlfriend - Another word for a computer.
>
>The victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a "computer widow."
>
>Telephone Number Salary - A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.
>
>Tourists - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
>their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest
>were tourists."
>
>Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing. "This is Dale,
>my...um...friend..."
>
>Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice
>president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of
>an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the
>operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
>
>Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all of the
>appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm boot for a
>Mac II involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key,
>the Return key and the Power On key.
>
>Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
>everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all
>owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
>
>
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