On Wed, 11 Jun 1997 23:25:35 +0100 Robert Allen <boballen@sky.net>
writes:
>Okay, who has the URL of the story to 'fix' oil pressure problems?
>Someone posted it awhile back -- out of East Texas I think. It was
>hoot!
>Something to do with duct tape and the gauge. Where did it go?
>Newsletter editors take note!
>
>Bob Allen, Kansas City, '69CGT, '75TR6
>
Well, since you asked for it, I managed to dig this out of my outbox text
files despite the two Juno e-mail crashes since I sent it to the list
originally. It was originally addressed to someone named Craig, but I've
readdressed it to Mark, since it applies to his problem. BTW, I believe
I should get a few net.points for spelling "gauge" correctly throughout.
Mark:-
You need to try the "Jack Kurkowski Sure-Fire Scientifically Proven
Hot-to-Trot Best Ass Method of Permanently and Completely Eliminating,
Stopping and Otherwise Ending Oil Pressure Worries."
Go to the local hardware store and buy some masking tape, it must be at
least the 2" wide stuff. You will also need some Windex, a razor blade,
some paper towels, a tweed cap, and sunglasses.
Pull on the end of the masking tape until you get about 3" from the roll.
Measure 2" from the end and cut across the masking tape at right angles
so you end up with a 2" square. Fold the extra inch back on itself so
the next time you use the tape you can get the end going without too much
trouble. Store the tape someplace where you can find it again.
Squirt a little of the Windex on the face of the oil pressure gauge, then
tear off a paper towel and use it to wipe the Windex and any dirt and
grime off the face of the gauge. It is important that the face be
absolutely clean. Put the Windex under the kitchen sink where it belongs
and return the paper towels to their proper place in the kitchen (say
this last sentence in your most annoying wifely nagging voice).
Now take your 2" square piece of masking tape and center it over the oil
pressure gauge. Rub gently to seat the masking tape as well as possible,
rubbing any bubbles out to the edges. Now take the razor blade, BE
CAREFUL, IT'S SHARP, and run one corner of it around the bezel of the
gauge on the inside. This will effectively cut off the excess masking
tape so the gauge is neatly covered. Pull off this excess and then shake
your fingers madly trying to get it off your hand. Put the razor blade
in a safe place after use. It is a good idea to take some of the extra
masking tape and fold some over the edge of the razor blade to keep it
safe.
Now, firmly place the tweed cap on your head with the bill facing forward
(unless you are under twenty-five, then turn it around with the bill
pointing backward). Take the sunglasses out of their protective case and
place them properly on your face. If they are dirty, you might want to
get the Windex out again.
Start the car. Pull out of the driveway. Head for your favorite road.
DON'T LOOK AT THE GAUGE. If you do, you'll just be tempted to peel off
the tape. Usually after a few sneek peaks, the compulsion diminishes.
Look at the sky. Watch the cars around you. Bask in the sunshine.
Relish in the scenery. Look for pretty girls by the side of the road to
honk at. Enjoy yourself.
BTW, Jack Kurkowski is a long-time member of NAMGAR that invented this
method many years ago. I have never met the man, but I'll bet he really
enjoys driving his MGA.
;-)
David Littlefield
Houston, TX
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