William Maxwell writes:
> Is there any reason, apart form cost, not to use synthetic motor oils in a
> 1980 MGB?
Sympathetic motor oil is extremely beneficial to your car.
The purpose of the oil in your engine is to lubricate the moving parts,
preventing metal-to-metal wear. You probably already knew this. Some
of these moving parts are under very great stresses, having to push and
pull and push and pull, hundreds, sometimes thousands, of times per
minute of engine operation. Different parts of your engine have
different ways of dealing with this stress. Piston rings, for example,
slowly fatigue from the constant drudgery, sometimes experiencing a
complete breakdown. Big-end bearings, on the other hand, react more
explosively, directly clashing with their opponents (called "crankshaft
journals", often shortened to just "journals", from which we get the
derogatory term "journalist"), going round and round, until they
literally destroy themselves.
Before the advent of sympathetic oils, motor oil was distilled from
organic sources, mostly dinosaurs (some of us call this
organically-derived oil "dino juice"). Now, you may not know this,
as there are very few extant examples left (most of which are animated
and, therefore, not portrayed particularly accurately), but dinosaurs
are not renowned for their compassion. The organic motor oils would
go about their mediatory duties rather dispassionately, doing a good
job but not a great job, but they were not able to function in this
capacity for very long. Gradually, they would begin to tire of the
situation, and begin to inject what, at first, seemed like harmless
little comments, but which eventually began to contaminate the
relationships around it. If left unchecked, the oils would develop a
highly cynical, abrasive attitude, nicknamed "sludge", which, not
coincidentally, resembled the unrefined environment of the dinosaur
elements it carried.
Because of this, automobile manufacturers now recommend retiring
organic motor oil after a specified interval (some people advocate
3000 miles as a conservative yardstick), and replacing it with an
entirely new, fresh batch. Up until recently, the disgruntled oil
was simply dumped into the nearest fresh water supply, from which it
would mumble and grumble its way through the pipes of the community.
These days, however, public awareness of the plight of the motor oil
has resulted in legislation requiring used motor oil to be collected
and sent to a rehabilitation center, where much of it undergoes
therapy and eventually re-enters the internal combustion society.
During the last few years a completely new approach to this old problem
has become widely available: sympathetic motor oil. Unlike traditional
organic motor oil, sympathetic motor oil is carefully cultivated in the
laboratory, using state-of-the-art genetic techniques to maximally
enhance its diplomatic talents. The results are, quite frankly,
astounding. Where once motor oil was acrid and caustic after only 3000
miles, sympathetic motor oils are able to reconcile rotating parts with
99.5% efficiency for durations of up to 20,000 miles. Because of their
careful engineering, they are less susceptible to environmental
conditions such as temperature (sympathetic motor oils are much more
effective than organic motor oils at temperature extrema) and work very
well under extreme pressures, such as those found in racing engines,
where every molecule of every component is under very great tension and,
when the lesser organic motor oils have been used, reciprocating
relationships have been known to literally self-destruct.
Sympathetic motor oils are not perfect, however. It has been noted
that, on older engines, in which the reciprocating parts have had ample
time to develop a mutually satisfactory working relationship, the
diplomatic urge of the sympathetic motor oil is strong enough to
sometimes cause it to relocate itself _outside_ of the engine in search
of situations in need of its peculiar talent. Fortunately, this is
relatively rare, so much so that most people feel the single biggest
drawback of sympathetic motor oil is its cost (though the price pales in
comparison to fees charged by similar agents in other societies).
> Thanks.
You're welcome.
--
Todd Mullins
Todd.Mullins@nrlssc.navy.mil On the lovely Mississippi (USA) Coast
'74 MGB Tourer in need of sympathetic motor oil
"I could go at any time..."
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