Found on www.britcycles.com/manuals
A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke
by Joseph Lucas
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the
transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral
manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical
circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke
out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified
repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a copper bar
across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are
liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one
observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage
regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions.
The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to
another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some
time largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone
to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts.
Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things
British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic
forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British
Intelligence leaks national defence secrets. Therefore, it follows that
British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and
inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the
form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical
components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."
Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)
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