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NON-LSR, The Laws Of The Natural Universe

To: "LAND-SPEED @ AUTOX.TEAM .NET" <land-speed@autox.team.net>
Subject: NON-LSR, The Laws Of The Natural Universe
From: "Joe Lance" <jolylance@earthlink.net>
Date: Fri, 2 Sep 2005 12:24:24 -0400
Law of Mechanical Repair:   After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.

Variation Law: If you change  traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to
move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem:  When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
arrive last

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they
will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of
landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness
and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:  No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:  Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.

Brown's Law:  If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:  A closed mouth gathers no feet.

And, Safeway Express Check Out Law: The only person ahead of you, needs a
price check.






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