surprise!surprise!surprise! ( said in the best Gommer Pyle fashion )
Racers: who us cheat oh ! come on guys we race purely for the love of it our
only concern is to please you the faithful spectator, it is reward enough for
the honour to participate .
Team managers: Cheating shame on you for thinking we would allow such a thing
! it is against the rules and against the spirit of true sportsmanship, we
call the shots and are not dictated to by our sponsors or owners.
Sponsors: Cheating ! we frown upon it do you think we are interested in wining
at any cost just so we can see our company name splashed across millions of TV
screens no no ! we only want to be good corporate citizens giving back from
the kindness of our hearts.
Race team owners: you know boys will be boys , at times they are a bit
misguided and some times think ( don't know why ) that I want them to win at
any cost , I don't care if we win or loose its how we play the game and I'm so
happy to spend whatever it takes to uphold this selfless principle
TV networks : We would not under any circumstances broadcast these races if
there was any cheating and are very saddened to hear that a minority of
viewers believe our only interest in these events is to get big ratings so we
can charge the sponsors of these race teams really really big dollars , who in
turn expect their team to win at any cost and to stretch or break any rules to
achieve maximum sponsor coverage, truly we cover these events purely as a
community service.
Governing bodies and organisers: We are pure and incorruptible we never bend
to the dictates of big business, big money, and TV networks and it is just a
coincidence that most things we do happen to only benefit these institutions,
its also just coincidence that we appear to be big on rhetoric and small on
any real action, power to the powers ,oops mean racers .
How will this affect you bonnyvillians that your choice ,you can follow the
great "Western" way, anything for a quick buck or you can remain faithful to
amateur ideals and freedom from the big business boogie man
Gary cynicism rules!
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